You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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