he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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