Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
