please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
