wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
