Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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