oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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