I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
