is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
