i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
