i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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