I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
