is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
