Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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