i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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