Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
