U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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