so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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