Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You may now shotgun with the bride
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
