Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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