Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
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I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
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I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Im part way to drunk.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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