Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
