Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
