no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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