Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face