You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize