the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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