It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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