Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
