So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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