I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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