she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
