Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
