I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he puts the penis in happiness.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
