If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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