But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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