the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
