I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
