your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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