I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
