found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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