I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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