508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
