he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
