Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
