i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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