I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The beer is more important than you right now.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
