my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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