so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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