Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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