I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
