I accidentally burped into my bong.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
