apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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