He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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