Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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