I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
40s are totally the cure
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
