i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
