WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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