honey bunches of taint.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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