She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Randomize
