Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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