mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
