Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
handjob tips. give me some.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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