I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
