okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
