I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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