Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
